Eurovision 2016: Song Reviews (Part I)

Okay, so in recent years I have become somewhat of a Eurovision enthusiast. So much so, that earlier this month Sarah and I acquired tickets to this year's Grand Final. It's going to be an incredible weekend, and I'm sure the atmosphere will be absolutely electric. Once the tickets, flights and hotel were all booked, it was then a case of what songs we would be hearing there.

By this point, we had heard just one of the forty-three entrants to this year's Eurovision Song Contest, which is to be staged in Stockholm thanks to that incredible song and performance by Måns Zelmerlöw!

Mancrush alert.

Needless to say, we were incredibly excited to hear everything Europe had to offer this year. Once all the songs had been published, Sarah and I got together on Tuesday (22nd March) to listen through all 43 songs together, in their entirety. Of course, me being me, I had written out all the entries out on pieces of paper, folded them up and put them all in a big bowl - we were going to listen to them at random! So with a big bucket of KFC and a bowl of 43 countries between us, we got to it. Click the song titles if you want to listen to them as the review goes on!

1) UKRAINE: Jamala "1944"

It wasn't a great start. Although the tone of the song is quite dark, it was rather amusing. Jamala sings in a mix of English and a Crimean dialect, which caused a little controversy when it was published after it won Ukraine's National Final. Eurovision entries are meant to be free of political rhetoric, however the lyrics refer to Stalin and his rule over the Soviet Union (hence the song title), but the Reference Board said it was fine and is allowed to go forth in the competition. A shame, really, as to us it just sounds like she's wailing. It's probably a degree or two less than Albania's entry in 2012. Just 2/10 for that one, I'm afraid. Moving swiftly on.

2) AUSTRIA: ZOË "Loin d'ici"

That's better. We were both fans of this non-English entry. It has a really nice sound to it, and it is upbeat. Something I appreciate with Eurovision songs. It's the biggest music event in the world, so it's nice to see the act enjoy themselves while they perform. The staging may have to be more impressive than what she had in the National Final, but this is an enjoyable song and one I'll still be listening to after May 14th, regardless of the result. 6/10 for me, though this finds its way into Sarah's top five. 

3) BELGIUM: Laura Tesoro "What's The Pressure"

This again, was another fun number. I was certainly enjoying it more than the rather unique entry last year which helped them reach an impressive fifth place. This song was one of the earliest submissions for this year's Eurovision, and it's certainly a good one. It should score highly with the western countries if she nails the performance on the night. Surely, this will breeze through the second Semi-Final. 6.5/10 this time, having enjoyed it slightly more than Austria's entry. I was getting quite excited now. The songs were just getting better and better...

4) F. Y. R. MACEDONIA: Kaliopi "Dona" 

... Until now. At least this one is laughably poor, which makes it more memorable to us than the Ukraine entry. The low-budget video certainly added to the entertainment. There's not much else to say I suppose. 3/10.

5) MALTA: Ira Losco "Walk on Water"

For this one, we're greeted with a scenic introduction on some rocks by the sea. Ira breaks into song, and you can already tell she has a brilliant voice, sounds almost like Céline Dion, in fact. A calm introductory verse suddenly drops into a dramatic bridge to the chorus, and all of a sudden, it becomes something akin to an Emeli Sandé anthem what with the breakbeat, but ten times better. I'm awestruck to say the least, and the performance doesn't let up at all. This was going to be difficult to beat. 9/10.

Go go Ira!

6) UNITED KINGDOM: Joe & Jake "You're Not Alone"

This is the one we both had heard up until now, after our first National Final in years. Granted, the BBC weren't really pushing the boat out by giving it a 90-minute Friday evening slot on BBC Four. Six songs battled it out for the UK's guaranteed spot in the Grand Final, and thankfully, this was one of the two songs we actually liked. I really like it, in fact, and certainly our best entrant in years. It's a bit corny, but it's Eurovision so that's allowed. Although after listening to that anthem from Ira just, it seemed a bit limp. It was beginning to seem that these very likeable boys might be performing in a very strong year for Eurovision. 6/10.

7) AZERBAIJAN: Samra "Miracle"

It certainly isn't the most creative song title even in recent Eurovision history. This isn't quite the entry I was expecting from the country that brought us Running Scared (possibly one of the most dull Eurovision winning songs ever) and last year's Hour of the Wolf. Nonetheless, we both quite enjoyed this. Again, it's rather upbeat, and kind of sounds like she's singing "Mirror, mirror mirror, cold" in the second part of the chorus, which is pretty amusing. 5.5/10 for this, it certainly doesn't sound like a winner. Azerbaijan have surprised us before, though...

8) SWITZERLAND: Rykka "The Last Of Our Kind"

This was a rather difficult one. I wanted to enjoy it, but I couldn't. The song promised too much, and her vocals just couldn't live up to the expectation (we were listening to the recorded version, may I add). Switzerland are lucky to be in the less competitive second Semi-Final, but I suspect they'll still struggle to qualify. Sebalter is still my favourite Switzerland entry in recent years. 4.5/10

9) HUNGARY: Freddie "Pioneer"

I was hoping that Hungary was going to impress me this year after sending a very dull entry last year. This guy's voice is certainly unique, I can't really draw a comparison to anyone in particular. Sarah and I came to the same conclusion though - his voice was too powerful for the song, the opposite to what Switzerland had done. I could imagine his vocal on a big rock track or something perhaps, but this seems a bit tame for him. Unfortunately, it makes it quite forgettable. 5/10

10) CYPRUS: Minus One "Alter Ego"

Again, like Azerbaijan I was surprised with the genre of this song. This was a very pleasant surprise though. This is a big rock song and, once again, we've got another music video atop some hills. The lead singer's vocals are like that of a weaker Chester Bennington (Linkin Park), and they work really well. I'm hoping Europe enjoy this as much as we did. If so, it could do really well, and shouldn't have any issues qualifying from Semi-Final 1. 8/10 

11) MONTENEGRO: Highway "The Real Thing"

At first, this song started to make sense. It was another rock song, albeit a bit of a crap one, especially after just listening to Alter Ego. Then, all of a sudden, it changes direction completely to dubstep. Again, the consolation is that this is laughably bad. They've tried to do too many things in a song. Why? Who knows. 3/10

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With 43 of these to do, I'll leave it here for to now. Another eleven songs are coming up in the second part of my Eurovision 2016 song reviews where we listened to returning countries Bulgaria and Croatia.

I hope you enjoyed these little reviews! What are your favourite songs from this batch?